(Written Yesterday)
Sitting in the passenger seat of Lauren’s Honda Accord I decided I couldn’t handle another minute of staring at fields hoping something would change. So I’ve turned on the hot spot on my phone and am attempting to connect to the outside world.
Or so it feels.
Today is day three of traveling across America to the wild west and open lands of Colorado. We drove to Nashville on Monday and spent the evening walking around Broadway which, surprisingly, isn’t as cool as I imagined it would be. Loud, and may I say, poor country music flooding from every neon illuminated bar wasn’t quite my idea of a fun night. We eventually wandered into a quieter bar and ordered the only thing we could afford: a coke and sweet tea. Striking up a conversation with the bartender we learned as much as we could about the highs and lows of living in the music capital of the world. He kept us entertained for three-quarters of an hour and then subtly mentioned that he hadn’t started us a tab and “would be back in five minutes from his ‘smoke break’…”. After much debate, Lauren and I decided that he had meant the drinks were on the house and we should leave before he came back. We still don’t know if that was actually what he meant so if you are a bartender in Nashville and two girls left their five dollar tab open, my apologies and I would be happy to send you a check!
The next morning we met up with my brother and future sister-in-law. Over a beautiful cappuccino and breakfast we talked all things wedding, travel, life, jobs and the recent passing of our Grandmother. It was nice to have a sibling to share memories of her with and to get the chance to laugh about old traditions, silly family sayings and our dreams for the future. After lunch Lauren and I worked our way over to 12 South St. where we devoured amazing burgers and sweet potato fries at this little chic joint called Burger Up. We quickly followed that up with another coffee stop and a wifi break to get some work done. The Bluebird Cafe was next on the list and we headed there a little wary of what exactly we were getting ourselves into. We showed up, grabbed a seat at the bar and started talking with the couple next to us. Turns out they too are currently moving across the country: from Maryland to Denver. Our first Coloradan “neighbors”!
After much surprise and excitement we all agreed that this was a “God-thing”, exchanged numbers and life stories, grabbed a photo, and promised to text each other when we had safely arrived in Denver. Also, God has already provided a potential job: part-time dog sitting this couples huge golden lab that has epilepsy.
He sure does have a sense of humor.
The funniest part of the day was when Lauren and I parked downtown, made our typical peanut butter and banana sandwich, stuffed them in our backpacks and headed out for a walk about town. We crossed a pedestrian bridge over the Cumberland River only to realize that from the top of the bridge we could see inside the LP stadium and who should be playing that night but none other than One Direction themselves. So we danced and sang along despite the mass of parents meandering around us. We even met this group of moms from Birmingham, Alabama who wanted to know all about where we were going, what we were doing and all the little details. They assured us that it was totally okay for two 22-year-old girls to be dancing to One Direction and even offered me a connection they had with a newspaper company in Denver. It was a good day.
As for today, it has included 10 hours in the car, 500+ miles across the heartland of America and a disappointing stop in St. Louis.
To start off the day we woke up late and found ourselves stuck in Nashville rush hour traffic. After spending a good 45 minutes with my eyes closed in an attempt to avoid my rising anger towards every person on I-65 we were finally free and I could breathe easy again. Traffic has never been a strong point for me as I consider it possibly the most pointless aspect of being human. We made a “We Only Listen To British Artist” playlist, put it on shuffle and cranked it up. Five hours later we rolled across the Mississippi River and spent thirty minutes wondering where all the people of the great St. Louis were, why every other building appeared abandoned, and where on earth we could get a good meal for under $10. After being lost for more time than I would like to admit, we turned the corner and found ourselves on the only cute road in town. We stopped and entered this authentic little restaurant only to turn right around at the look of the place and speed walk down the road and out of sight. Slipping into an Irish Pub we spent a few moments trying to convince each other about which of the 15 empty tables was the best and then decided it didn’t really matter, grabbed two menus and took a seat. The meal was adequate and the hostess even gave us a discount (most likely due to the fact that we looked as though we were on a budget). I’m starting to find out that if you tell people your story, they want to know more and usually offer you something for your journey (a connection, encouragement, a free meal, etc..). So we ate till we were full, filled up our water bottles and got out of dodge as fast as possible. We were quite thankful to see the signs for Ferguson go by and spent the rest of the day hating on every Missouri license plate we saw.
Okay, I need to clarify something: Lauren and I don’t hate Missouri or the wonderful people who live there. It was just a long day stuck in the car mixed with a late lunch, traffic and bad directions.
(Written Today)
And that brings us to today: Thursday August 21st.
Today I couldn’t help but think about all the people I know who are all going about their normal lives. We are staying with family friends of mine who have one of the most amazing houses I’ve ever seen and even bigger hearts! I slept in (8am), woke up slowly, made a wonderful breakfast and spent a good portion of the morning sitting in the early sunlight with my coffee and the newspaper. I haven’t had a good chance to get caught up with what’s happening around the world and it was nice to finally understand a little of what is going on in the Middle East. Scary stuff. I put the newspaper down, threw on my workout clothes and hit the gym they have in the basement. It was so great to push my muscles to work hard again. Living at the beach this summer was incredible and I had lots of activity, but I truly missed the elation that comes from lifting weights at a gym. Knowing that your muscles have been destroyed and are going to spend the next 36 hours recreating themselves, stronger than before. It’s the little things in life that I love to notice.
We drove into Kansas City and spent a couple hours walking around the art museum. What a fascinating place! So much talent; so many hearts poured onto canvas or carved into elaborate figures in an attempt to explain the coursing of emotions that exists within each of us. If only I knew how to express myself the way the painters of old did. What would that be like?
And now I’m sitting in Starbucks (the only semblance of the East that has followed me) and it makes me slightly homesick. It has been an interesting experience, traveling slowly across the country knowing that this trip doesn’t necessarily end in a quick flight home. But rather, this journey is just the beginning of a new life in a place where I know no one. How is it that people move somewhere and actually end up creating a community that is just as good or better than the one they left? How much faith must I have to trust that there really is a future for me in Colorado? Why is it that when I think farther than next Wednesday my heart skips multiple beats, my muscles start to twitch and all I can picture is me living in the woods surviving off of berries?
It doesn’t seem possible that I can exist outside of the little world I’ve created on the East coast. That may come as a shock, considering I’ve lived in Kenya for six months and that I love to travel everywhere. I think the big difference is that this whole situation is completely outside my control. I have no guarantee in anything and yet I feel called. I feel peace about arriving in Denver tomorrow and figuring out life once my feet hit the beautiful mountain soil. I don’t feel rushed. I don’t feel trapped. I don’t feel responsible for my life. I feel free. I feel as though I am able to breathe deep, look around me at the mountains and just believe that it will work out. That this “new land” I’m going to really is full of potential and untapped dreams and that all I have to do is keep my eyes on Him. I look at the waves of expectation and paying rent and making a way for myself and I start to panic and sink. I look at the promises of the Lord and I find joy. I find peace. I see my life for the purpose it’s designed to contain. It’s not easy to stay focused on the Lord. Yesterday is a great example of how quickly I lose my way. But He is teaching me. He keeps drawing me back.
In the quiet moments He leans close and whispers “come away with me”. So tomorrow I will wake up early, pack my two bags in the car and drive across some of the flattest land in the country. Then I will arrive. The mountains will appear, the elevation will climb and I’ll eventually shut the car off. I’ll put my two feet on the ground, and it probably won’t shake with majesty. There won’t be lightning or drums. In fact it will most likely look exactly like arriving at any other destination I’ve been to this week. Except in my heart I will see it all differently. For me the ground will shake, there will be the pounding of my heart and the strike of electricity in my veins because I will know. I am beginning to see the meaning of this next journey in my life. I’ve felt the call and when the Lord speaks the ground shakes, the sky blows up and the whole earth resounds with joy. So to me it will be like no homecoming before, for this time I’ve arrived to the new home He has prepared in advance for me.
We will see what happens. You all will know when I know, what is next. I have no idea what to tell you about life after next Wednesday but I do know that wherever I end up I am excited because it’s going to be grand! It will be hard, occasionally lonely and probably scary at times, but it will be grand!
Love you all, missing you (and NC) and praying that I will have a place for you to sleep when you come to visit 😉
Footsteps of Tender Feet 