They’re All Little Queen Esthers

Walking into class 7 today I had no real idea of what to teach. The title of the class is “Life Skills” but that can be translated into anything. Pulling from my high school days I decided to have the children write stories about their lives and the things they have been through. All I received were groans as I announced the 6 page, single-spaced narrative due Friday, but as the class settled down to write I was sure I had assigned the right project. I wanted these kids to see their life as a whole. To notice the part they contribute to history and the story being played out before their eyes.

After school ended I started up the bible study and quickly got into the story of Esther. I had only planned on doing part of the story today but before I knew it I was explaining the whole thing, pacing back and forth with excitement as I encouraged these girls to be like Queen Esther. Describing how courageous and brave she was and the comparisons between Esther and the girls. So much faith in an unseen God, even within the tough situations. Finally wrapping it up, I closed us out with a prayer. Speaking with God I simply thanked Him for blessing Elise and I with each of these beautiful girls, asked for blessings over them as they went home and that they would know how much they are loved, both my Elise and I, but also by Jesus.

As the girls shuffled out the door one in particular made her way towards me and as I turned to her we just hugged. It was a hug of pain, thankfulness and exhaustion. When I started to pull away her arms still held fast around my shoulders. So I just stood there, hugging her and praying that she would feel Jesus’s love flowing through my arms as they surrounded her. Lauren is the reason I’m here. To love her as she deserves, to hug her when she feels helpless and to speak the Lord’s truth into her soul. To let her be the child she should be and the daughter she is.

Father I come to you with joy over this young woman. Thank you for her passion, fight and strength but also for her humbleness, honesty and weakness because through her admittance of being weak you are strong. Your strength is flowing through her like a mighty river, cleansing and healing as it roars over the rough rocks.

You cover it all. You cover them all.

Walking away from the school I was called back by two of my class 7 girls who handed me their homework on the stories about their lives. I told the girls I would read them and talk with them tomorrow. Settling into the soft couch tonight after bible study I was quickly riveted to my seat. Through tears, a sharp pain in my chest and a sick stomach I read the stories. There are literally no words to describe what I read and felt. I have read stories before about people who go through tough situations or are scared by things in their past, but this was different. These were my girls, my students, my children. I see them in class and they are so tiny and yet I read their stories and there is nothing but fear, oppression, abuse and pain. One of the girls, at a very young age, lost both her parents. She writes this about life after their deaths:

“From there on life was just a rotation of the Earth or it changed
like a chameleon. I was just to survive in the name of the Lord.
I had my aunts whom I depended on, but they refused me and
said that I should be away from their eyes without wasting time.
I saw the street was a place for me to be safe.”

At the age of 8 she spent 7 months out on the street.

Another student was taken from her family to live with her relatives because her family couldn’t afford to take care of her. As a child she was moved from Uganda to Kenya, landed in a whole new family and had no idea what anyone was saying because she didn’t speak the language. She endured teasing, emotional and physical abuse and being left with people she didn’t know.

As children these kids are dealing with huge issues. Things that will forever change and channel their lives. That is the reason I spoke about Esther. The girls can relate to her even if it doesn’t look like it on the outside. Their lives have been full of hurt and challenges and yet they have faith that the Lord is good and that He will work all things for His glory.

I have to believe that. I would not be able to look at these children and accept what they have been through without God’s promise that there is good that will come from it and that one day they will be made perfect and there will be no more pain. I want these girls to grow up with the love of God healing whatever hurts come their way. I want them to keep faith and trust that this too shall pass.

I want the pain to be made right, justice to be dealt and answers to the question “why?”. I know that time will come one day, so until then I just want these girls to escape. I want them to escape and live lives of joy and happiness, to find someone who will love them like Christ loves the church, to follow their passions to the ends of the earth and to live in the abundant blessings of Jesus.

Lord, your yoke is easy and your burden is light, you tell us. So that is what I ask for tonight. Simply that you would take your children’s burdens and carry them. Father, what beautiful children you have made. They praise your name in all things and find their strength in you. Your love is mighty and it comforts me. I rest peacefully, knowing that the God of the stars is walking among His creation tonight singing lullabies to His children.

“You have taught children and infants to tell of your strength, silencing
your enemies and all who oppose you.”
Psalms 8:2

Burning Prayers

Letting the burning water wash over me I stood with a heavy heart and a loaded mind. Watching the brown water run down the drain I was reminded of how the Lord makes all things new and clean and perfect.

Little Austin.

Today was a beautiful day! Arriving home at 6:20, after a day of swinging kids, teaching about Jesus, playing games in the intense dust and sun, and walking my legs to jello, I was thankful to take my shoes off and relax. Sinking into a chair in the living room with throbbing feet and a very dusty/dirty body, I was happy. There is joy in knowing that I was dirty, sore and exhausted due to a day of loving kids. Every time I’m with them my heart is broken and healed all at the same time.

Right now I want to tell you about my little boy Austin. It is so hard to hold back the tears of joy and sorrow as I write to you guys about him. He has these eyes that just light up the world around him. His laugh is strong, real and unrestrained. If he thinks something is funny his entire little body shakes with the laughter, every time. Today it was very hot and dry but there was a slight breeze so during break times it was fun to run around and play games with the kids, but my favorite part of the day was when he came up and did his little routine. He always stands about 10 feet away with his finger in his mouth and looks at me with a slight smile/curious face. When I smile at him, he throws his head back and laughs and then I run towards him, swoop him up and spin him around. It is my favorite part of Kenya yet. Today he did the usual but when I put him down he didn’t try to start a game of chase. He just stayed by my leg and followed me around. When I sat down he crawled up on my lap and started jabbering away to me in Kiswahili. Tilting his head back he would look up at me, say something and then settle into my chest  and completely relax. He would find something humorous and I would feel his tiny body shake with laughter.

(Austin’s on the left)

He is warm, soft, fully alive, loving and most of all he trusts me. He believes me when I tell him I love him and Jesus loves him. I know this because his little eyes alone smile more than most people can with their entire face. He shines and loves so well.

Today, during one of his laughing spells I tickled him and noticed that his stomach had some spots on it. After further inspection I could see that the entire upper half of his body was discolored. He had blotches of discolored skin. After asking the teacher what it was I found out that he either had a disease or had been burned. I have never had my heart sink like this. I could have picked it up off the ground. I looked down into the face of this beautiful boy and as he smiled and giggled back up at me I couldn’t help but just kiss his face again and again. I still don’t want to believe it. There should never be anything wrong with a child, especially little Austin. I didn’t care that I might get sick or that he wasn’t the cleanest child at the school. I just wanted him to be loved and so I cradled him in my arms and smothered him with love, laughter, kisses and smiles.

“Every good and perfect gift is from above,
coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights,
who does not change like shifting shadows.”
James 1:17

Standing under the water, my mind was racing. After a few minutes I realized that what I needed wasn’t more solutions, plans or determination. What I needed was to pray. So I started praying by giving thanks to God for the countless blessings in my life. Starting with little Austin, I went through the list of adorations and requests. My heart stilled and instead of worrying I became sure. Sure that the Lord’s plan is sovereign and that His love is greater than mine. My heart aches for this child and honestly if I could I would make him mine without even a moment’s hesitation. I want to follow him around and make sure he is always okay, happy, safe and full. But I know he is in the hands of the creator of Heaven and earth and for me to try to be his everything, his provider and his support, I would be taking away from the Lord. I know that I have a purpose in this child’s life (however small it may be), and for that I am grateful.

It’s only the start and I know that by the end of my time here only God will be able to pull me away from these children. But already I have seen Him at work in my life. I can love this boy with everything I am because Jesus first loved me, completely. So with that introduction I ask that you love him along with me. That you pray for him as you would a family member because he matters too. His life is beautiful – way more beautiful than mine. There is a spirit and life inside him that has touched my heart and I want so badly for it to touch all of yours. Oh, if only you knew how precious he is.

Tonight I lie in my bed. I am clean, full and tired, but my mind is on Austin and my heart is full with praise. With tears of joy I thank my father for giving little Austin to me (if for only a short time). I thank Him for having a plan, a purpose and for the promise of an eternal life with Him. I cannot wait to see this little treasure become the masterpiece he was created to be.

Thanks Jesus for making him!

A Clarification from God

(this was written this past Monday)

“¹⁸ “Forget the former things;
do not dwell on the past.
¹⁹ See, I am doing a new thing!
Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?
I am making a way in the wilderness
and streams in the wasteland.”

Isaiah 43:18-19

Last week was very tough for Elise and I, up-country at our new location. There were issues with the school and a few of the children that were making it very difficult for us to be able to work. There was a lack of support and community that left me feeling abandoned and exhausted. I’m not the type of person who can go off on my own and succeed. I need to be around people and be known by them and loved by them. I am figuring out that “fully relying on God” doesn’t mean leaving everything I love and the things that He gave me to sustain me here on earth.

Before I came to Kenya I had the idea that a real missionary was the one who went alone to the ends of the earth to save the meanest, harshest, most forgotten people of the world. I struggled with the choice of being happy and giving up everything for God because in my mind those were the only two options. After a week up-country I had to reevaluate my thinking and ideas. I talked with my mentor and asked her what it really means to live for Christ because I only saw these two options:

1. Give up everything you love, struggle through the things you can’t handle and trust God to fix everything and make you happy in the end.

2. Be willing to go when and where He calls, look for things that require your strengths and talents that He has given you, and trust God to work through you while you enjoy His calling for your life.

I realised today that the Lord doesn’t call me to do His work, only to make me completely unhappy. I don’t have to be alone in order to be faithful to the Lord. He gave me my talents, skills and passions for a reason and those are the things I excel at. I finally came to understand that I can be myself, do the things I love, be around the people who know me and still be just as faithful to the Lord as the loner missionary at the edge of the world.

I also saw my pride for the ugly beast it is. We decided not to go back to the school (for many different reasons that would take forever to explain on here) and the decision was a struggle for me because I felt like I wasn’t being faithful to the Lord if I was happy and I didn’t want to come to you all and tell you that I quit the ministry location after only seven days. That sounds so weak to me and I didn’t want to be a failure in anyones eyes. Once again the Lord was amazing and showed me His love. He reminded me that I serve God, not man. That my heart needs to be concerned with Him not what my friends and family will think when they hear. I realized that what I should care about is serving my Lord and Savior.

This being said, I start a different “new” journey tomorrow. I am starting at a school called New Adventure School (an appropriate title, I think) where I’ll be teaching life skills, doing a bible study with class 7 & 8 kids and doing PR work for the school. I’ll be doing advertising and fund-raising and I cannot wait to put into practice the things I am learning at university back in America. It is a mix of passions that I can’t wait to explore and I also get to come home to people who know and understand me which will give me the comfort, support and energy I need to fully expend myself for these people.

I trust God. I trust Him to provide the place and work where I can do it well. I trust Him to provide the energy, support and wisdom to be a diligent and hard worker. I trust Him to challenge and change me through it all, to mold my heart into one of faith and to use my time here for His glory. Our God is great and I’m thankful to Him for making me the way I am, calling me to use those talents for His glory and never once leaving my side – through the good and the bad!

May His glory be sung throughout all the world!

Wow God

What a week this one has been. Oh my, oh my. One of the toughest weeks I have ever been through.

My teammate and I moved up-country to a small village in the rural areas of northern Central Kenya. We are the only two white people in the village and most of the people have never seen a white person before. If you want to talk about overwhelming then I’m the girl because I have never been that overwhelmed in my entire life. It was a week full of trying to find our place in the home where we live, in the school where we work and in the community where we completely stand out.

It is freezing weather (the house doesn’t have any heat so we have to bundle up), very few people speak english, everyone stares at us and they feed us more food that we can handle.

We live on a compound that holds the house and school, with a grandma that we call “Mama”. She is a wonderful old woman with a big heart for the students. She makes us chai tea 5 times a day and cooks very starchy but yummy meals for dinner. We wake up in the morning around 7 and get dressed as fast as we can because of the cold weather. We put on as many layers as possible and shuffle into the living room to huddle around the steaming cups of chai before heading out into the misty morning to the school and the parade the children do every morning. Standing before the kids we watch as they say their prayers, sing and stand at attention for their inspections. If they forget either their handkerchiefs or their spoons they are swatted with a swatch on the hand. Then they greet us “visitors” and are dismissed to their classes. We make a few rounds and say hello to the children and then pick a class to go into and see what they are doing. The older classes usually don’t have a teacher for over half the day so we end up teaching math or english or just answer their many questions about America and our lives. Then for lunch we go back to the house for a warm meal and more chai and then head out again to take pictures and videos of the children while they eat and play. They love this part. Wow how these children love to see the cameras and how they work. When we show them their pictures they all scream and laugh and run off to get their friends to join in. After school ends around 5 the children say their closing prayers and take off through the gate running for home at top speed, all chattering away in Kikuyu.

I love walking the younger ones to the gate and watching them run off, waving and yelling “bye teacher!”, as they tear down the lane. Lifting my arm in a wave I stop and just let my heart fall in love with this place. Those are the moments when I know I’m doing what I was made to do. When the children smile and laugh because I tickle them. There are moments that break my heart though. Moments where kids are hit with sticks for talking or being too loud. Moments where kids are pinched because they didn’t listen. Moments when I go to hug an unsuspecting little girl and see her visibly flinch, expecting pain. That is when my heart breaks and I drop to my knees in front of her and tell her that she is the most wonderful thing in the world and then I pick her up in a hug and carry her to class because the thought of letting her walk alone is too painful. I want them to know they are loved. I want them to feel it to their very core the way I feel it about Jesus. I want them to wake up from a night mare and to be calmed by the fact that there is an amazing Father who is right there with them. One that loves them beyond their biggest dreams. I want them to experience the love I experience every day.

Sometimes it’s hard to be here because I feel like I’m making no difference. The thoughts creep into my head that this span of time is a waste and there will be no fruit from it. Then I realize that simply loving these kids is enough. Showing them Jesus in a new and personal way.

There were a lot of trials this past week. Some cultural and some that probably shouldn’t have happened but did. It was so tough on so many levels and I will be honest in saying that after this past week I am exhausted emotionally, mentally and spiritually. There were times when I didn’t understand why God had brought me here and what His plans were. Times when I just wanted to call my parents but couldn’t and instead sat crying in my room. Tired, cold and feeling completely alone, there were times when I didn’t want to turn to Jesus. When I was upset and didn’t care what He had to say. Those times were the  hardest. Those times I ran out of energy and love very quickly because I was relying on my own.

Some people would call this week a failure. Some would look at my heart, laugh and say things like: “you call yourself a Christian?” and “what little faith you have!”. But I look at this week of struggles and joys and say that it was a gift from God. A week where I was humbled and pressed to become more than I am. Completely out of my comfort zone, the Lord caught my attention by wearing me out and then said,

“Jennie, just stop for a second. Stop trying to save the world – that’s my job, remember! Look at these children. Do you see what they need? I want you to love them and do it well! Teach them, not the things of this world, but the ways of My heart. Teach them of My love and grace. Show them the way to walk in faith and to trust Me. They just want to be loved and I have equipped you with that. Can you take your eyes off of yourself long enough to see the desires and dreams these young ones hold so dear in their hearts? Go with the passion you have when you speak of Me. Fight for them with the intentionality I wrote in you. Love them with the fierceness you have been shown. Stop thinking about the difficulties and how tired you are, because I have given you the strength. Gain the courage to take the lid off of my cup and watch it overflow. Let it sweep you away with the beauty of who I Am.”

What a stopper that was. How can I fear anything when the Lord of Lords speaks directly to my  heart with crumbling whispers? My heart burns with the desire to speak His name to the nations. I tremble with the anticipation of what I get to witness and be apart of. Of the glory of our God.

Holy, Holy, Holy is the Lord God Almighty! Who WAS and IS and IS TO COME! Oh how the joy radiates from my being for He has set me free and I am free indeed!

I am reading in Isaiah as it is one of my favorite books and I read Isaiah 40:

“Comfort, comfort my people,”
says your God.
² “Speak tenderly to Jerusalem.
Tell her that her sad days are gone
    and her sins are pardoned.
Yes, the Lord has punished her twice over
for all her sins.”

³ Listen! It’s the voice of someone shouting,
“Clear the way through the wilderness
for the Lord!
Make a straight highway through the wasteland
for our God!
⁴ Fill in the valleys,
and level the mountains and hills.
Straighten the curves,
and smooth out the rough places.
⁵ Then the glory of the Lord will be revealed,
and all people will see it together.
The Lord has spoken!”^[a]

⁶ A voice said, “Shout!”
I asked, “What should I shout?”

“Shout that people are like the grass.
Their beauty fades as quickly
as the flowers in a field.
⁷ The grass withers and the flowers fade
beneath the breath of the Lord.
And so it is with people.
⁸ The grass withers and the flowers fade,
but the word of our God stands forever.”

⁹ O Zion, messenger of good news,
    shout from the mountaintops!
Shout it louder, O Jerusalem.^[b]
    Shout, and do not be afraid.
Tell the towns of Judah,
    “Your God is coming!”
¹⁰ Yes, the Sovereign Lord is coming in power.
    He will rule with a powerful arm.
    See, he brings his reward with him as he comes.
¹¹ He will feed his flock like a shepherd.
    He will carry the lambs in his arms,
holding them close to his heart.
    He will gently lead the mother sheep with their young.

The Lord Has No Equal

¹² Who else has held the oceans in his hand?
    Who has measured off the heavens with his fingers?
Who else knows the weight of the earth
    or has weighed the mountains and hills on a scale?
¹³ Who is able to advise the Spirit of the Lord?^[c]
Who knows enough to give him advice or teach him?
¹⁴ Has the Lord ever needed anyone’s advice?
Does he need instruction about what is good?
Did someone teach him what is right
or show him the path of justice?

¹⁵ No, for all the nations of the world
    are but a drop in the bucket.
They are nothing more
    than dust on the scales.
He picks up the whole earth
    as though it were a grain of sand.
¹⁶ All the wood in Lebanon’s forests
and all Lebanon’s animals would not be enough
to make a burnt offering worthy of our God.
¹⁷ The nations of the world are worth nothing to him.
In his eyes they count for less than nothing—
mere emptiness and froth.

¹⁸ To whom can you compare God?
What image can you find to resemble him?
¹⁹ Can he be compared to an idol formed in a mold,
overlaid with gold, and decorated with silver chains?
²⁰ Or if people are too poor for that,
they might at least choose wood that won’t decay
and a skilled craftsman
to carve an image that won’t fall down!

²¹ Haven’t you heard? Don’t you understand?
Are you deaf to the words of God—
the words he gave before the world began?
Are you so ignorant?
²² God sits above the circle of the earth.
The people below seem like grasshoppers to him!
He spreads out the heavens like a curtain
and makes his tent from them.
²³ He judges the great people of the world
    and brings them all to nothing.
²⁴ They hardly get started, barely taking root,
when he blows on them and they wither.
The wind carries them off like chaff.

²⁵ “To whom will you compare me?
Who is my equal?” asks the Holy One.

²⁶ Look up into the heavens.
    Who created all the stars?
He brings them out like an army, one after another,
    calling each by its name.
Because of his great power and incomparable strength,
    not a single one is missing.
²⁷ O Jacob, how can you say the Lord does not see your troubles?
    O Israel, how can you say God ignores your rights?
²⁸ Have you never heard?
    Have you never understood?
The Lord is the everlasting God,
    the Creator of all the earth.
He never grows weak or weary.
    No one can measure the depths of his understanding.
²⁹ He gives power to the weak
    and strength to the powerless.
³⁰ Even youths will become weak and tired,
    and young men will fall in exhaustion.
³¹ But those who trust in the Lord will find new strength.
    They will soar high on wings like eagles.
They will run and not grow weary.
    They will walk and not faint.

I read this passage multiple times and realized that this was specifically for me today. How huge is our God and yet He cares enough to call me to love the little ones in a forgotten village in northern Kenya? It is possible to know a God that good? He calls the stars by name, He measures the universe with His hand, the earth to Him is a grain of sand and yet He holds His lambs to His heart. What kind of God is that? What love that takes to be able to be that God.

The coolest thing? That same power that is that God, is in me.

God saw fit to use my body and the ability to love, that He gave me, to reach these children. My mind is blown. What a precious gift! What a show of love. I want these children to be loved and to love in a way that only Jesus can offer. The kind of love where the entire universe is incomprehensible and they are left speechless at the works of God but all the while, full – overflowing – with the unending love of Christ.

May our faithful God be lifted high and glorified!

1/6th of the Way

I am heading off tomorrow morning at 9am for my ministry location and I can think of nothing but the Lords faithfulness! This past month has flown by and now I am finally heading out. Out on the next faith journey. The next part of this adventure is about to begin and as people move out and others move home (to America) I prepare to move as well. Packing up my stuff, I am amazed at how quickly this apartment and compound have become a home to me.

Today I went to my last language lesson, picked up a few last minute items from the store, wrote a few postcards and am now enjoying the last few hours with the roommates who have become my family here. It was quite a full day with lots of running around and details but the Lord still blessed me with a few quality conversations. I had language lessons from 9-11 and towards the end of my lesson I just started talking with my teacher about Jesus and His great love for us. We spent the last 45 minutes sharing times in our lives when the Lord has shown up and how He is in control of this world and how amazing that is. What an encouraging conversation between two children of God. She asked me a few questions about my faith and why I believe certain things that I do and it was a joy to explain it to her. As most of my conversations about God do, the conversation ended in tears, and I invited her to a Chai (Kenyan tea) and Mandazi (fried dough “donut”) break. For some reason when I talk with people about the love of our Lord and His faithfulness I cry with amazement. It used to make me self-conscious, but as I gain a clearer view of my brokenness I see more clearly His forgiveness and just how great He is. Nothing breaks my heart like His faithfulness does! He has been faithful with providing ways to share my love of Him with others while I wait.

After that wonderful break I happened upon three Kenyan men that I had met at the church my first week here. I greeted them and in Kenya if you are to do a proper greeting that requires a conversation about life and everything else in the universe 🙂 I am growing to love it and how it forces people to slow down and take an interest in others. So I sat down and proceeded to have an hour conversation with them. Multiple times the thought crossed my mind that I should head home and get on with my long list of things to do today but instead I pushed the thoughts aside and turned with renewed concentration to the questions being directed towards me. What a conversation it was! We talked about the difference between Kenya and America. They laughed particularly loudly when I said that guys are trouble (jokingly of course). They kept laughing as they said that I had it all wrong and that in fact, “women were the trouble”. They laughed even harder when I told them with complete sincerity that they were wrong and any guy would be blessed to have me… I sat there watching them die laughing and finally had to join in myself because as they say, “when you can’t beat them, join em”! Different cultures = different mindsets.

It was fascinating to hear the details of Kenyan life and be able to explain to them how things work in America. A wonderful use of 45 minutes and I left the conversation with 3 new friendships despite our differences!

I don’t know where tomorrow will lead me – that is one of the joys of my lifestyle here in Africa – everyday is different and what you expect to happen rarely actually comes to be. If I am to be honest, I’m a little scared. Change can hurt sometimes but the biggest thing I am ready for is the little kids. I will begin teaching on Monday and even though I never pictured myself educating others I am going to dive into it and pray that I come up alive! It will be very different from Nairobi. There will be very cold nights, clean air, jungle trees everywhere, dark red dirt and cheaper produce. The thing that is the same is the people who need the love of Jesus. Jesus has been faithful in the process of coming to Africa, the first month here and He will be faithful tomorrow as I move forward in His plan. I know that no matter what happens, He will be at the center holding the reigns ready to carry me through it all.

Ask anyone who has talked to me personally and they will tell you the hardest part for me has been the times when I have been sick/homesick. They were very rough and caused a lot of doubts. Looking back, now healthy, I can see the Lord in it all. When I came to Africa I thought I was going to get here, have faith to literally move mountains, heal people and bring hundreds of people to Christ (slightly exaggerated). The beauty of my trials is that the Lord was able to save me from myself: from my doubt, my pain, my fears and my selfishness. I failed so quickly and at the first wave of trouble and pain I blamed God and asked Him why on earth he brought me here. Now, I see that this isn’t going to be done with my own ability, my own heart and my own strength. If I want to make a difference for Christ, turning my heart to Him in every decision and moment will do it.

When I’m tired from language lessons and don’t want to be kind, making a difference means going the extra mile when I stop for bananas at the duka and asking the owner how his day has been. It means when I spend the night sitting by the toilet I give my pain to Christ. Instead of blaming Him and telling anyone who will listen to send me home, I physically tell God that I give up my pain and thank him for already taking the worst of it for me. When I have no idea how to handle a class of young children, it means loving them through my frustration because I’m there to comfort and buildup not to be a voice tearing them down.

The Lord has called me here to love because he first loved me. 1 John 4:19 He wants me to love these people through their pain and sorrow; through heartache and trials; through hunger and loneliness. And that is all I want to do. When I leave here I want these Kenyan kids and adults that I am doing life with, to have been loved like never before by the only one who will love them like no one else can: Jesus. I want them to know hope that has never been known and see a light where there was once only darkness, to know the warmness of a melting heart and the completeness of a soul connected to the true life support.

I say this with complete expectation in the Lord to fulfill these desires of my heart. I want people in tears because they are completely bewildered by the idea of such a gracious God. And I believe that will happen. I trust the Lord to show up and move in big ways because He is faithful in all things.

May His name be praised through all generations, and by all people, for the Lord our God is faithful.

A tourist at last

The first month is gone, whew. This week has been full of interesting things and it’s been a joy to experience them all!

Thursday I went to Junction for the Maasai Market to hunt down some treasures with Amanda and Trish. At first I was nervous because you have to bargain for the price and I don’t know a reasonable price for anything. Also I have a hard time being tough with people At the first place I stopped I tried to bargain for these paintings and after going to check with Trish I found out the guy was ripping me off by almost $30. After that I turned into a bargaining master and worked my way around the market telling sellers exactly how much their item was worth and that I was going to pay even less for it thank you very much! I left with a greater self-esteem, a pair of earrings and three banana leaf paintings – I was happy!

Friday I had language lessons and then went to the orphanage with Kathy to help feed and hold the babies, which was a great time of renewal and exhaustion! It was wonderful being around babies because I miss them when I don’t see one for a while, but boy do they take a lot of energy! After that we took the new girls to YaYa’s (the “mall”) and we all got fresh fruit juice which was AMAZING! One of my new favorite places!

What a day of adventures for us girls today! It all started with an early morning wake up call and going to meet the taxivan. After fitting the eight of us in the small van we headed out in search of wild animals. Bumping down the road, stuffed in the middle of the back row, the conversation bubbled with excitement and anticipation. Heading out of Nairobi with the windows down, the van a chuggin, the fresh air streaming by and we felt alive!

After a few minutes of closed eyes as we took the last few turns, we finally arrived at the elephant orphanage. The next hour consisted of “donating” 500 shillings (about $6), squealing at the sight of the elephants and getting a close up of elephants drinking water with their trunks (which are AMAZING by the way!). One elephant even tried to kick this lady who kept taking photos of it. Sometimes it’s important to remember that it’s not all about the photos – sometime you just have to put the camera down and enjoy the moment!

After the elephants we washed our hands because elephants are VERY dirty and then headed up the hill to see the rhino. It was scary walking up and seeing the shadow of something huge stalking around its stall. Then you walk around the corner and there’s a horn in your face with a few metal bars keeping this massive killing machine from putting that horn through your stomach… nice picture eh? It was a little scary but really more impressive. I mean, this animal was HUGE! It also helped calm the nerves considering it didn’t look real.

After our hour there we climbed back in the van and took off, all of us chattering and explaining to our driver (Nixon) just how awesome the elephants were. He of course has seen them a million times and just laughed along with us over our excitement. Arriving at the giraffe center we were all amazed by the beautiful animals in front of us. They are tall, elegant and soft! We spent the next hour and a half feeding them pellets from our mouths and dying laughing as we watched each other. If I had to pick one animal from Africa to bring home, it would be a giraffe.

At that point we were all very hungry so we headed back to town to grab some food at our favorite Ethiopian restaurant. We demolished everything set before us and climbed back into the van as happy and tired as eight girls traveling around Africa can be.

All I can do is thank Jesus. Thank Him for bringing me here and giving me the love to love this place! After two weeks of being sick, missing home and wondering why He brought me here, He has given me a breath of fresh air. He has given me hope. He renewed my spirit and showed me a deeper love for Africa and for Him.

It’s great to be a tourist for once 🙂 This is the last week in Nairobi and then I head north. So much left to see and do and so little time! I can’t believe I get to be here for another five months! My how time flies when you’re having fun!