What Tomorrow Will Bring

The end has come for my time in France and while my parents are packing to go home, I am double checking to make sure I have all the paperwork, materials and information I need to head off to Kenya. My parents keep talking about how wonderful it will be to be back in America and saying such things as “there’s nothing like home” and “Chaps is going to miss you” but I am only dreaming of what tomorrow will bring.

Tomorrow begins with an early morning, flying out of Paris at 7:35 and arriving in Nairobi late at night. It’s going to be stressful, exciting and slightly scary but the thing I’m most excited about is reading the prayer journal full of prayers, love and encouragement from friends and family. I have refrained from reading it until now with the intention of reading it on the flight to Kenya as a final encouragement.

I cannot wait to be there! I still can’t wrap my mind around 6 months but even more than that I just want to be apart of these kids world – to share life with them on a deeper level and to understand them in a way not possible with an absence of time. The Lord has blessed me with the chance to experience life from a different point of view but with that comes responsibility. My prayer and hope is that I’ll be able to hear His voice, respond and fulfill His greater purpose for my time there.

I’ll keep you all posted with updates about everything – it is all going to be different, new and crazy cool! Thanks once again for the support, love and prayers – you all rock!

Flowers, Coffee and Sunshine

My key to traveling lies in finding the things that I enjoy most and adding one of them to my life every day. Being in France has given me a small (yet somewhat different) glimpse into a few struggles I’ll go through in Kenya. One large issue is the language – it’s hard. No matter how much I try I don‘t understand it and that’s tough, especially when a lot is riding on knowing it. The best example I can give is when I go to order food. In France when they come to take your order they expect you to know exactly what you want and to just spit it out – I have a few problems with that:

I can’t read the menu,
I don’t know what half the ingredients are and
I usually have questions.

The list goes on and on! My current solution is to just point at something and hope it turns out well. Sometimes I cheat and order the same thing as Carie (my sister whom I’m visiting before heading to Kenya on Friday). 

This problem, and the other difficulties I run into, are just the natural flow of being in a foreign land. I work to make one thing a day seem “normal”. Whether its the picture I snap of a beautiful flower (you should see my photo album of flowers – it’s huge and growing), daily coffee with my favorite pastry (can’t beat French baked goods!) or the moments I take to enjoy the sunlight bringing the world to life, they are the small but necessary things that keep me normal.

Thank goodness Jesus is my rock and not America – how quickly and repeatedly our earthly norms fail us.

Delight

I got to hangout with this little beauty today 🙂 She is so full of life and loves to laugh at everything!

Realizations of a Tired Mind

Sitting at the small kitchen table by the window overlooking the busy square below, I let the French words just float by me without paying them attention. As if I would know what they meant if I did listen, I choose to give my brain a break and not care. I’m exhausted but more than physically, mentally or emotionally exhausted. It’s at a deeper level. When I get this way it is usually because Jesus is trying to show me something and I think this time I figured it out. Pulling out of my thoughts, I start to clear the table and agree to join the rest of the family outside in a few minutes. I mention my tiredness to my mom and she automatically starts to tell me that I have been through a lot and it’s understandable that I would still have jetlag, let alone still be tired from the rush of school ending. Nodding I agree but then begin to explain this type of exhaustion. The type where everything is different and nothing makes sense. Where I cannot do anything to make this place resemble something I know. That’s when it hits me. I know why I’m so tired. I’m exhausted here because I cannot be confident of myself. In Boone I know who I am and how to run that world. Yeah there are times when I feel insecure but in those small moments I have learned to look to Jesus for my confidence. The difference is that in Boone I can create the foundation of being confident because I am familiar with the area and the people. Here in France I cannot create that foundation of confidence and that is exhausting because instead of looking to Jesus I continue to struggle to create my own self-worth. Kenya will be the same struggle I’m afraid, but once again the Lord has been merciful enough to present this struggle while I’m around family for support!

Collision

And there it is… the realization that this is the start of a beautiful adventure. Sitting on my bed, looking around at the different piles of stuff collected into organized mess, I realize that they are just objects. I look at the bags, partly packed for France and Kenya, the newly acquired books laying unopened on my desk, the photos of dear friends, family and Chaps (my puppy) stacked and ready to remind me of warm times at home, the prayer journal and letters full of advice, wisdom, encouragement and love, and I am happy. These things are so fun to have and help in moments of doubt, fear and uncertainty. The thing that hits me the most though, is when I read a note from a friend and the only thing it says is Isaiah 58:1-14. Reading it slowly, my heart picks up on something I can’t hear. The whisper of a fire about to catch. The stillness of the few seconds between lightning and thunder. The moment you realize you’re doing exactly what you’re made to do and nothing can hold you back.

Oh the endless adventure that lies ahead. The journey of trust and amazement I am starting and the unknown that is my future. Three things hit me at once:

1. I have no idea how little I am and how big God is
2. He has a story He wants to write through me and it’s the opening chapter, about to begin
3. It’s ridiculous because I am shown again and again how quickly I forget exactly who the man is that I’m serving. He is one that looses the chains of injustice, unties the cords of the yoke and sets the oppressed free!

PRAISE THE LORD!

In 17 hours I will be boarding a plane, bound for far away seas. Lands of new people and miles of unknown ground. But I am not walking them alone. Jesus has gone ahead and made the path level and straight. There will be trials but they are nothing compared to the ability of the Lord. It is important for me to understand my place in this arrangement. I am not the hero nor the saint, the protector nor the provider. There is nothing I can do to save a single person I come into contact with. I am merely a daughter of Christ, accepting the invitation to go on a walk with my Father. The Lord is my light and my salvation. He is the one who will show me the skies and how the butterflies fly. He is the one who is mighty to save. My feet travel only because of the direction of the Lord and because of that He is glorified! May His name be lifted high in the times of quiet peace and in the times of stormy confusion. May His name be lifted high when I’m healthy and sick. May His name be lifted high in the delighted ones and broken hearts. Where will this fire take me if only I let down my walls and allow His breath to sweep me away!

And in these moments, the ones where He speaks His majesty over me, I see first hand into the joy of the Lords plan for me. I collide again with the unspeakable beauty of the endless possibilities found just within the arms of my Savior.

Isaiah 58:1-14

“Shout it aloud, do not hold back.
    Raise your voice like a trumpet. 
Declare to my people their rebellion
and to the descendants of Jacob their sins.
² For day after day they seek me out;
they seem eager to know my ways,
as if they were a nation that does what is right
and has not forsaken the commands of its God.
They ask me for just decisions
and seem eager for God to come near them.
³ ‘Why have we fasted,’ they say,
‘and you have not seen it?
Why have we humbled ourselves,
and you have not noticed?’

“Yet on the day of your fasting, you do as you please
and exploit all your workers.
⁴ Your fasting ends in quarreling and strife,
and in striking each other with wicked fists.
You cannot fast as you do today
and expect your voice to be heard on high.
⁵ Is this the kind of fast I have chosen,
only a day for people to humble themselves?
Is it only for bowing one’s head like a reed
and for lying in sackcloth and ashes?
Is that what you call a fast,
a day acceptable to the Lord?

⁶ “Is not this the kind of fasting I have chosen:
to loose the chains of injustice 
and untie the cords of the yoke,
to set the oppressed free
and break every yoke?
⁷ Is it not to share your food with the hungry
and to provide the poor wanderer with shelter —
when you see the naked, to clothe them,
and not to turn away from your own flesh and blood? 
⁸ Then your light will break forth like the dawn, 
    and your healing will quickly appear;
then your righteousness^[a] will go before you,
    and the glory of the Lord will be your rear guard. 
⁹ Then you will call, and the Lord will answer; 
    you will cry for help, and he will say: Here am I.

“If you do away with the yoke of oppression,
with the pointing finger and malicious talk,
¹⁰ and if you spend yourselves in behalf of the hungry
and satisfy the needs of the oppressed,
then your light will rise in the darkness,
    and your night will become like the noonday. 
¹¹ The Lord will guide you always;
    he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land 
    and will strengthen your frame.
You will be like a well-watered garden, 
    like a spring whose waters never fail.
¹² Your people will rebuild the ancient ruins
and will raise up the age-old foundations;
you will be called Repairer of Broken Walls,
Restorer of Streets with Dwellings.

¹³ “If you keep your feet from breaking the Sabbath
and from doing as you please on my holy day,
if you call the Sabbath a delight
and the Lord’s holy day honorable,
and if you honor it by not going your own way
and not doing as you please or speaking idle words,
¹⁴ then you will find your joy in the Lord,
and I will cause you to ride in triumph on the heights of the land
and to feast on the inheritance of your father Jacob.”
For the mouth of the Lord has spoken.

An Early Morning Surprise

Reaching over I grab my phone and fumble for the snooze button. 8am. Ugh, I get out of bed, wondering why people checkout this early, and try to keep a positive attitude. Opening my door, an envelope falls to the ground. With curiosity I pick it up and glance at the cover: “Jennie – the opportunity to be a part of Gods movement”

Inside, the gift of $100 and the challenge to use it wisely and “pay it forward”. With that invitation, my mind starts racing as to who gave this to me, what I can do with it, who I should spend it on, etc…

I don’t understand how the Lord works it all together, but where is the fun in knowing? Aren’t surprises more exciting 🙂 After a particularly difficult few days, the encouragement is a wonderful reminder of the many reasons I’m doing this. The Lord has, once again, given me the strength and peace I have lacked. Funny how, just when I start to mentally check out He steps in and says, “no you don’t, we’re in this together!” So here is what I’m going to do. I’m going to pray and wait for the Lord to show me where this gift should go.

Another adventure with God 🙂
p.s. I’ll keep you all posted.