Half Christmas Photo

Half Christmas

The roommates and I were talking last week about how people in Kenya don’t make Christmas special at all. We were all bummed about the lack of holiday spirit so we decided to celebrate the half year mark of Christmas to make up for the lack of Kenyan spirit.

So tonight we put up a Christmas tree with lights and a wreath, made a Christmas cake and are watching Christmas videos.

After being really sick the past 48 hours it is a wonderful way to soothe the soul as my body heals 🙂

Sometimes a Broken Heart is the Greatest Gift

Today I went and visited the school where I’ll be teaching for July and August. I took a tour of the school rooms and the house where I’ll be living and after they served us an early lunch. Over three cups of coffee and bread with butter the owners husband tells me what a great honor it is to have me come and stay with them at the school for two months. Some of the children have never seen a white person, let alone spent time with one. He said that I am the first white person to come and stay at the school and that because of that, the schools reputation will be improved in the town. I nodded in fake understanding and smiled, trying to hide the laughter at the absurdity of that idea. The ridiculous idea that me, Jennie Reeb, will cause this town to view the school differently. That I am making a difference in the lives of these children and I haven’t even met them yet.

And then my heart breaks.

It breaks because these people want me there. They are thrilled to have me! They have almost nothing and they offer me everything. My heart breaks because in the world where I come from, these people are forgotten. They are abandoned and overlooked before they are even known. My heart breaks because the Lord has shown me again His plan for me and the sweetness of His love. Driving away from the school the song Faint Not came on my iPod.

I have gotten in the habit of listening to music constantly in the car with the window down, since I almost always feel carsick due to the bumpy roads. One of the lyrics says “we quit because it’s not an easy fix and then forget that they are even there, we forget to care” and listening to those words I could feel the Lords voice whispering to me. “Jennie, these are my children! They are my beloved, my most cherished, and you get the opportunity to love them with me. Will you see them as I see them? Will you give them a chance and love them as I love them? Don’t forget them because they too are mine!” And again my heart broke.

It broke because I realized how blessed I am. It broke because the Lord reminded me again, why I’m here and the call He has spoken over me. I am crushed by His love for me. That He would give me things like my home and school, friends and family. That He would give me a love so deep for those things to where it hurts to put them aside even for a few months. But at the same time, give me a love for the forgotten ones. The people who are so different from me but want to be loved just the same and who want to know a God like mine! That He would give me the opportunity to be one of the people to bring Jesus to these kids. That these men, women and children would not be forgotten by me.

Words are pointless. There is nothing that can describe how grateful I am to be able to leave my home and love these people and be loved by them.

I spent the rest of the car ride with joyful tears streaming down my face and the wind soothing my soul. What a wonderful gift of reassurance from the Lord !!!

A Normal Day With Amazing People

Today I got to spend the entire day in the slum with kids. I went to visit the school where my roommate Bettina works. I spent my time being the “math checker” during math classes, handing out lunch and taking photos.

When I first arrived in Kenya, I went around on tip-toes, talking to kids as if they didn’t understand my language nor what I meant. Today I finally broke through the ice and what a difference it made! Being a math checker was at first a daunting task, considering I had no idea it that meant. Turns out it means exactly what it says: I sit in the class and check the kid’s answers to their math problems.

Walking into the class I nervously sat at the front with my red pen and watched the almost-silent room waiting for the first kid to rise up and test my math skills. I sat there thinking things like “do I even remember how to count?” and “should I have the teacher check these?” and “is 7 x 4 really 28?”

Finally the first kid stood up and walked towards me. All of his answers were correct and I remember being shocked by my thoughts as I watched him almost skip back to his chair. I had thought, “He is smart. He would probably go very far if he lived in America.” Needless to say I quickly scanned the room and hallway to see if anyone had either read my mind or guessed what I was thinking.

I sat there thinking about that thought as I waited for more students. Thinking about how backwards that idea was and how Jesus probably would have just laughed in my face if He had been present.

The truth is: These kids are amazing and they are each created with a purpose. My thought process is only doing them hard by limiting them before they even get the chance to test the waters of possibility and find the path the Lord has laid out for them. Only He knows their purpose. I just want to help them find their dreams!

Jeremiah 1:5
“I knew you before I formed you in your mother’s womb. Before you were born I set you apart and appointed you as my prophet to the nations.”

These children are amazing and I remember just sitting there having my heart changed by the Lord. He called me out that day and changed the way I view them. What a break through that was!

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Yesterday I spent the day at two different orphanages. At the second place they served us the finest lunch they could – rice and chicken – and it was delicious! Then while we ate, the children preformed songs and poems they had memorized. My favorite part was this one little boy who stood up in front of our table and spent five minutes reciting a Bible passage word for word from memory. As I was videotaping it I could not hold back my tears. The beauty of a hungry child, speaking the words of God from heart, for strangers while they eat. I felt a mix between embarrassment over eating while the children sat and watched, speechless as I watched this child turn to Christ instead of anger over his situation in life, and ashamed that I could not memorize even a chapter of the Bible let alone multiple! All I could do was sit back in my chair and let the tears role as this beautiful child taught me about what it looks like to really love and have a servant’s heart.

Matthew 18:3&4
“Then he said, ‘I tell you the truth, unless you turn from your sins and become like little children, you will never get into the Kingdom of Heaven.  So anyone who becomes as humble as this little child is the greatest in the Kingdom of Heaven.'”

It is true, Africa has a way of getting under your skin and sinking into your soul. What a dangerously beautiful place the Lord has called me to!

For the Honor

“My soul will boast in the LORD; let the afflicted hear and rejoice.” Psalms 34:2

I am blown away by the glory of the Lord. My soul breaks under the weight of His majesty. This weak body of mine cannot contain His love; it will surely explode from the expansion of His joy in me!

My God! My God! There is nothing as beautiful as you. My soul takes flight, my veins burn, my feet dance and my voice sings of your love. Where are the words I am searching for? The ones that attempt to describe my love, to show your glory? Oh how my soul boasts in you Lord for your love is never-ending. You have set me free and I am free indeed. The smile won’t leave my face and the tears won’t dry up for they are the escape my heart is looking for. You are faithful – will you never let me forget it!

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Two nights this week the Lord has come to my aid and been with me.

Thursday night I started feeling pretty sick and woke up around 2am with the worst body shaking chills I have ever had. For an hour I lay curled up under my sheets, trying to gain warmth as chills rippled up and down my body. The whole time, angry with God for abandoning me here in this foreign country. Every thought of home, of what I am and will be missing, of the things I love and hold most dear floated through my mind. They were sent to mess me up, to take my focus from Christ. As I lay there shaking I decided to take my mind down another track.

Instead of being sad and upset, instead of planning a way to go home early, I decided to spend the time talking to God. “Lord you brought me here and you have been faithful so far, why does my mind so quickly go to fear and anger? I will thank you in the midst of my pain. Father, thank you for allowing me to experience sickness in this new world while I’m in the city. For providing people to take care of me, and girls who have quickly become my sisters in You! I have looked at this wrong – my body is hurting, but this trial is only making me stronger.  Every time I go through trials and turn my heart to you, You are becoming stronger in my life! Thank you for making this tough so that I have to turn to you.”

This is what I asked for right? I asked for the Lord to bring me to a place where I have to rely only on Him. I knew it was going to be difficult at times but that night was a new kind of trial. Around 3am the shaking slowed down enough as to let me get out of bed, put on more clothes and grab all the extra blankets I could find. After taking enough medicine to put a cow to sleep (just kidding mom, I only took the recommended amount) I climbed into bed with a new heart and mind. One that could see through the pain to the mercy it actually was. Asking the Lord to warm my body up I told myself to just breathe and focus on the face of Jesus. Relaxing, I drifted off into a peaceful sleep with the warm arms of my Father wrapped around me.

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The second time Jesus was with me was last night. For the past couple nights I have been attacked by horrible dreams. Last night was particularly bad. I keep going in and out of sleep and woke up completely at 4am. I have never been more exhausted than at 4am last night. My brain was tired from the nightmare and my muscles were aching because of the tension in the dream. I lay there to sore and tired to move and just prayed. I asked Jesus why these dreams were coming to me and told Him I couldn’t handle them anymore; that I needed Him to get rid of them for me. With a heavy heart I asked Him where He was and next thing I knew I could feel His presence resting on my bed. His hands stroking my back telling me it would be okay. Immediately all anxiety left me, and my muscles relaxed. How do you explain the presence of the Most High? It was the most peaceful I have felt in a long time. I knew then, that no matter how much he tries, the devil would never succeed so long as I call on the name of Jesus to rescue me.

So last night around 4:30 I fell into a peaceful slumber for the second time this week, with the Lord right by my side.

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There is nothing I can say to fully explain Him, but I will try… daily. I will continue to boast in my Savior because He is good. Oh I will sing and laugh because of His faithfulness and unending love! He has given me faith and I will trust. I will trust in His words, in His presence and in His promise.

 ^“Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.” Deuteronomy 31:6

Give me faith to trust what You say; that You’re good and Your love is great. I’m broken inside, I give you my life.

A Blessing

Holding her last night I was struck by how much life she has. At only two years old she has to deal with so many complications: deaf in one ear, almost blind, feeding tube and heart problems. But feeling her heart beat beneath her little chest was all it took, and I fell in love. The entire evening I couldn’t take my eyes off of her.

Rocking her, I started humming a song about Jesus and as she quietened down I felt myself settling into my joy. I was so thankful to God that he had protected her and spared her life, that he had given her such a fighting spirit, that he loved her and that he was going to use her in SO many incredible ways. She is only two years old but already she has shown me the faithful love of Jesus – I cannot wait to see what she does when she is older. What a blessing she is to this broken world.

may our glorious God, who is the giver of every wonderful thing, be praised.

A Night of Shenanigans

Tonight after dinner we watched Mission Impossible (the first one) and it was quite exciting! Bettina had never seen it before and thought it was fun. By the time the movie ended we were pumped up and decided to use our energy to become spies ourselves. We proceeded to take off from the house and sneak around the compound. Our first target? The night guard! Slipping between cars and through bushes we ambushed him, his deep laugh mixing with ours as we explained our mission. Leaving him to his work, we pressed on to the tree house and claimed it as our stake out. Figuring that Silas (the only guy short-termer) was bored by himself, we sent him a text telling him to meet us above the prowling beast (the guard dogs, Harrison and Maria). Fifteen minutes later he emerged from his apartment and taking a wrong direction, headed towards our house. Rebecca, the quick thinker that she is, threw a rock and hit the ground next to him. Finally he found our hiding spot and joined us on our spy adventures. Needless to say…

Mission Accomplished

A Visit With a Friend

Tonight I got to hangout with my friend Nate. We went to school together and I met him through my sister. Us Reebs call him “Nate the Great” and it was wonderful getting to hear about his life and catch up. He is currently 8 months into an 11 month mission trip to 15 different countries. We talked and shared stories and it was a wonderful time of remembering our home country and advice giving. One thing he told me is to find my truths and to know that no matter how much the devil tears me down, he cannot touch those things. So here are a few:

1) I am a daughter of Christ
2) He is working in me and has a greater plan
3) I am covered by the blood of Christ
4) Jesus has already won
5) I am set free

What a great reminder of Christ’s love. What a blessing Nate is. All in all, it was a wonderful night! Thanks Jesus 🙂

The Day of Arrival

Today is my first official day in Kenya. I woke up and had scrambled eggs with cheese and tomatoes. We hung around and relaxed for a little and then headed out of the compound to get groceries. As my first time out in the actual city of Nairobi it was everything I imagined and more. Mud caked walkways flooded with streams of dirty trash filled water. Slow moving water making its way through decomposing masses of who knows what, disappearing around a corner into a cave of hanging branches. Exhaust fills the air as we walk down the street, buses flying past us barely missing bikers. Children begging for money, guards with huge guns at every building, people selling items and lots of chatter. The grocery store was, to say the least, unorganized and it smelled like a kennel but the people were amazing. I said “habari” (hello for locals) to the woman checking me out and she smiled and responded. Then she proceeded to spend five minutes explaining what she was saying and the right responses, her smile lighting up her face and the laughter rippling out of her. They are wonderful! I am excited about meeting more people. I bought rhubarb today to make a rhubarb crumble for the girls and our friend Amanda who is visiting from off the compound. Some of them have never had rhubarb so this dessert will be a treat for them!

Here is one of my journal entries from my traveling yesterday:

“Sitting on the plane with the first glimpses of Africa out my window, I am silent in an unbelievably overwhelming view of the greatness of God. Have you ever had a moment where your eyes clear and you can see the rightness of life when it’s lined up with Jesus? Watching the last bit of ocean saunter by, I am hit by the distance between my plane and the water. The thought that ‘I may not even make it to Kenya’ hits my brain, not in a fearful way but rather a factual one. Something could easily go wrong and we could all end up in the drink. The amazing thing was that even while that realization was forming, my soul was confident and calm in the knowledge that my Savior reigns. I am on this plane because Jesus asked me to take a trip with Him and so I’m going. He is my rock and my only protection and that is all I need. I am not afraid, I am not alone; I do not want to suffer in any way, but I know that when I do I will be doing it for and with the one my heart longs to be with. In those moments I know that His hands will be gripping mine, His heart will be beating for mine and His voice will be calling me into His arms. May our Lord be praised forevermore”

On the plane into Nairobi I got to see the sun set over the Sahara desert and I have never seen anything like it. I glanced out the window and was caught off guard by the sky ablaze with fire. There were two levels of clouds framing the setting sun and the effect was breathtaking. The light burned a deep red, pushing towards me through the clouds in a million directions. It was one of those moments I will always regret not getting photos of.

The scariest part was a few moments later. We passed very close to this cloud suspended in the sky and as I watched, lightening started shooting out of the center of the cloud. With the sunset, making the sky look on fire, silhouetting the cloud it was a sight to behold. One of those moments that give you a glimpse at the day the Lord returns. The sky is going to explode.

So today has been awesome and it’s not even half over. The best part is the constant conversation I am having with the Lord – when I see new things I say “Look Jesus! Isn’t that awesome!” and He responds with peace in my heart and joy filling my soul. He keeps telling me that this is just the beginning and it’s only going to get better from here on and as hard as some moments have been so far, the moments of complete wonderment and excitement make it worth it 🙂

So here’s to the future, the unknown, the unloved and the truest lover – may I always be surprised, captivated, loving and weak so He may be strong.

Praise to Jesus for just plain being awesome!