I just finished the promotional video for the school I’m working at in Kibera. These kids are amazing and so are the teachers in charge. Their passion for these kids to grow up, knowing the love of Christ, is evident and heart-warming. I hope you enjoy and feel free to let me know what you think!
“But you, man of God, flee from all this, and pursue righteousness,
godliness, faith, love,endurance and gentleness. 12 Fight the good
fight of the faith. Take hold of the eternal life to which you were
called when you made your good confession in the presence of many
witnesses. 13 In the sight of God, who gives life to everything, and of
Christ Jesus, who while testifying before Pontius Pilate made the good
confession, I charge you 14 to keep this command without spot or blame
until the appearing of our Lord Jesus Christ, 15 which God will bring about
in his own time —God, the blessed and only Ruler, the King of kings
and Lord of lords, 16 who alone is immortal and who lives in
unapproachable light, whom no one has seen or can see. To him be
honor and might forever. Amen.”
1Timothy 6:11-16
I am a failure. Some days my mood is dampened and my desire to love others is weakened by my sin. I chose to wallow in my thoughts of home and let the bitterness of longing drag me under. It’s a struggle, living for Christ. It’s not easy and it’s not always pretty, but it’s worth it. Stepping back from the world and my earthly desires is way more difficult than I ever thought. If I had known how difficult it would be, I may not have signed up for it. And in that weakness I have nothing to offer but the Lords strength.
He calls us to flee from the things of this world. But even more than that, He calls us to also run towards something: Him. So today I skipped church, stayed home and listened to hours of podcasts from America. I want to spend today completely soaked in His word and it’s wisdom. The biggest thing I learned from my seat by the window is that this (Kenya) is a conscious choice. I miss things at home and some days my longing for home gets in my way of being fully present for the Lord. It is my choice to give those up. Not just in coming to Africa and being physically absent from home but also in my thoughts, comments and desires. I need to be fully present where the Lord has me. Its exhausting and has many challenges, but He shines through it.
So I will fight. I will fight myself and my human desires because He has called me to this. I will flee from the temptation to complain about how I miss things at home. I will flee from the thought that when I return home, my “contribution to the Kingdom” will be over. I will flee from the idea that I’m here because I am a good christian. And I will run towards the truth that the Lord is sovereign and so is His plan for my life. I will run towards the arms of the ultimate comforter when I feel alone. I will run towards praising Jesus for this adventure with Him and the invitation but also for the ability to accept it. I will sprint towards His promises that this fight won’t last forever. I will steel my mind to the fact that I only have to fight until the true warrior comes. I will run towards the truth that He is enough and He will sustain me. He will be my joy. He will be my treat. He will be my cause, my journey, my destination and my reward. He is it. The beginning of who I am and the end. My purpose and my portion. His work is the biggest challenge but the greatest blessing. His call is the most dangerous but the safest place to be in the world because in the presence of Him, I am free, made perfect and without fear of this life. I will remind myself of who He is. I will talk myself into a frenzy over His majesty and I will fight with every ounce of my being for the joy only He can offer. I will turn my heart and my mind to Him. I will see this short time as something that will change me forever. A time in my life where He is stretching me and I knew it would hurt. I knew there would be pain but I imagine the result! I imagine how much more beautiful He will be and how much more desperately I’ll need Him. How I will dance even more wild with pure amazement and with even more reckless abandonment over His glory.
So whether it’s fleeing from myself or from this world, I stand assured that He will succeed. That He will win and only good will survive. I stand assured that He is worth it. That He will provide what I need. That He will comfort me when I experience things here that break my heart. That He will provide for little Austin and baby Josephine. That these orphans I love will be even more loved by the one true Father. That this country is held skillfully in the hands of the Almighty. That my purpose, though unknown, will be fulfilled. That I will be changed for Him. That He would use my small amount of time to change the world for Him. That people would read these posts and see my flaws, shortcomings, inability to stay focused on Christ, and through all my sin see the glory of the Lord. That in my failings He would be proved faithful and be praised. I stand assured because my God is the only God.
So I challenge you today. Surrender yourself to the Lord not only in the things you do but in the thoughts you have. When you find yourself starting to complain about the things you are sacrificing for the Lord, remember who you’re serving. Remember the majesty of His love and ultimate sacrifice. When you start to feel bitter about your place in life and what He has called you to, remember His purpose and faithfulness. Remember that this life and the situations we find ourselves in today are but only a small part of our world. And if we chose to turn our hearts and minds to Christ, He will refocus them, provide the energy we need and give us the joy that keeps us going!
Fight the good fight and don’t ever forget the majesty of the God we serve!
Constantly praying for you all and for your
own journeys He has you on!
With joy!
Lying here on the couch with my foot up on a pillow I decided to take this time of rest to tell you all a bit more about Kenya. While playing soccer with some of the boys today during lunch I slid and sliced my toe and leg. Considering the dirt in Kibera would eventually lead to disease, Elise and I quickly took a taxi home. My few cuts are clean, bandaged and causing me a little pain but from experience I know it will be healed up within a few days. Typical “Jennie” day. As I watch the trees out the window bend in the harsh wind and the dark clouds bringing a heavy rain towards us my heart is stilled. I have always welcomed great storms with open arms because I know that after the storm passes everything will look more beautiful in the soft sunlight. I also love to feel the power of nature all around me. I love it so much I actually sent up a quick prayer when I saw the beginnings of a storm and asked Jesus to send it my way so that I have an excuse to just sit and watch the earth get a bath.
So a few things about Kenya.
1. There are very weird birds here which is quite fun sometimes.
2. People are always interested in what you are doing and who you are.
3. If you have a conversation with someone, they will invite you to their house.
4. Kenyan Chai Tea has revolutionized my life – I will never go back to regular tea again.
5. I love Duka’s (small roadside shops where you can buy essentials).
6. Fresh fruit is a must.
7. America and Obama are represented everywhere here.
8. There is so much car exhaust/dust that it is hard to breathe at times.
9. Everyone wants you to know their language. This one guard I pass everyday on the way to school (Tom) always wants to teach me another word. He is patience and doesn’t get mad when I butcher the language. We have become friends!
10. Animals are NOT pets here. I have seen 5 dogs that have been treated as pets and every time I see one I almost yell at the people around me cause I’m so excited. Makes me miss Chaps.
11. The swing on our compound is my favorite place because when I lean back and look up, the sky is huge.
12. Kenyan light is very soft. Makes everything come alive.
13. These people actually want a better future for their country. They want change.
14. I have begun cooking for myself and yesterday I made Carrot, Onion, Potato soup and Tilapia for dinner. It was quite good if I do say so myself 😉
15. I love walking through the slum and watching people live their daily lives. That place is like beehive. Alive and crazy.
With only 3 months and 22 days left in the country I am constantly surprised at how quickly the time is flying by here. It’s amazing to think about my view on life just a few months ago and how much it has changed. The Lord is good. He is great! I have full confidence that no matter where I go, no matter what storms life brings my way, the Lord is with me. In that I will rejoice. Today at school we spent an hour and a half answering the kids questions about Jesus, God and everything related to the Bible. It was quite an interesting experience and at the end I told the kids about my favorite verse. It’s Psalms 13:5&6 “I trust in your unfailing love, my heart rejoices in your salvation. I will sing to the Lord for He has been good to me”. I told them about how it represents my life and the choices I have made.
“I trust in your unfailing love,” – I chose a long time ago to trust the Lord, in everything. I trust that when He says He loves me, He means it. I trust that when He says He will never leave me, He means it. I trust that when He says I am forgiven, He means it. In the good times I trust Him to continue His work through me. In the times of trial I trust Him to be my strength and to bring good from it. That will never change.
“My heart rejoices in your salvation.” – When I was eight years old I chose Jesus. He asked me to be His and I said yes. I attempt everyday to stay aware of His ultimate sacrifice for me. The one where He took my place. The one where He bought my freedom and I want to truly rejoice in that fact and in that love daily.
“I will sing to the Lord, for He has been good to me.” – All I can give Him is my praise and love. In return for everything He has done, all I have to offer is myself (a poor exchange if you ask me). It’s all He asks for though. He continues to give me all the love in the world and in return I praise Him and give Him everything I am. For He has been good to me.
He has become my constant. My true north and guiding light. When my body hurts or my heart misses home, I take refuge in the fact that I am still loved by the God of the universe. My heart and soul are held in the most capable of hands and there is an indescribable peace in that. The worries of my life are put away and out of sight. Jesus has taken them and hidden them. Right now, the only thing I see is His beautiful face. And it’s all I need.
p.s. while I was writing this the rain storm hit, and its a good one!
Footsteps of Tender Feet 